The Courage to Question

When I was growing up, my mom called me the “Why Child.” Sometimes my questions came from sheer curiosity. At other times those “whys” veiled defiance, distraction, or disbelief. Like those of children, adult questions can come from a place of curiosity—generated by a genuine interest in growth and learning. Yet, they can also come from a place of antagonism generated by a desire to evade personal responsibility by accusing and blaming others. Questions can be met with delight, openness, and a desire to impart knowledge, understanding, and insight. Questions can also be met with fear, defensiveness, and a desire to silence and shame those who dare to ask them. Perhaps most surprisingly, some of life’s important questions can remain unasked at all.

With the right intention, questions can give us and others the opportunity to grow in knowledge, wisdom, insight, grace, beauty, and love.

What is Underneath Our Questions?

Although I have often been the curious and genuinely interested student of life’s complexities, enigmas, conundrums, and contradictions, I must immediately confess that I have also been the blaming, shaming, and accusing questioner. I realize that blaming and shaming comes from a place of deep fear in me; fear also fuels my defensiveness and a desire to silence someone who has questions that oppose my belief system. In contrast, curiosity in me comes from a place of generosity and generativity; so does my openness and a desire to learn new things from those who are different than me. Generativity is the ability to create new things and generosity gives and shares with others.

Examples of Questions in the Bible

Questions give us and others the opportunity to grow in knowledge, wisdom, insight, grace, beauty, and love. God asks people provocative questions throughout Scripture. A very interesting study in the Bible is a study of the questions asked by God and humans. Do you remember when God asked Adam the question, “Where are you?” This was after Adam and Eve had eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in the Garden of Delight. They had just realized the shame of their disobedience and were hiding from God. Why did God ask Adam to answer a question for which He clearly already had the answer? I believe this question points to God’s desire to initiate a reconnection with His Beloved Adam and Eve despite their disobedience. It also points to God’s desire for His children to take responsibility for where they are—not just physically, but also emotionally, socially, and spiritually.

Equally interesting is the study of the questions that humans ask God throughout Scripture. One of my favorite Old Testament prophets is Habakkuk. This prophet voices his very human and serious concerns to God with brutal emotional honesty. Perhaps we ourselves have recently entertained and even dared to express questions like: How can a sovereign, righteous, loving God tolerate evil? Does God’s tolerating of evil suggest that evil eludes His notice, or that He is indifferent to evil, or that He is too impotent to restrain evil, or that He even condones evil?

Habakkuk cries, “How long, Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?

Or cry out to you, “Violence!”

but you do not save?

Why do you make me look at injustice?

Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?

Destruction and violence are before me;

there is strife, and conflict abounds” (Habakkuk 1:1-3).

From the beginning to the end of this Old Testament book, God stays engaged with Habakkuk throughout their dialogue. God listens and allows Habakkuk to ask questions and express a full range of human emotions without rebuke. He responds and talks to Habakkuk, giving him information that he does not necessarily want to hear. Like in the Old Testament book of Job, God at times answers the prophets questions with questions of His own. But God stays engaged in the difficult dialogue. I wonder how often we disengage with God and even with spouses, children, and friends before we have had the opportunity to engage one another fully? Habakkuk ends with a beautiful proclamation of hope, faith, and strength:

“Though the fig tree should not blossom

and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail

and the fields produce no food,

though the flocks should be cut off from the fold and there be no cattle in the stalls,

Yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

The Lord GOD is my strength,

and He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,

and makes me walk on my high places (Habakkuk 3:17-19).”

(Interestingly, Habakkuk’s name is derived from the Hebrew word for “embrace,” but it also suggests the idea of “wrestling with.” Remember Jacob, whose birth name means “deceiver”? After wrestling with God to receive His blessing, Jacob was renamed Israel—the one who wrestles, struggles, or strives with God. God’s blessing cannot be received, as Habakkuk reveals, without both embracing and wrestling.

What Questions Teach Us about the Nature of Faith

Questions, complaints, and concerns may reveal a heart that strives to understand and trust, or these may disguise a heart that seeks to condemn and dismiss. One heart strives to draw near, the other to distance. Uncertainty creates the tension. That is the nature of faith--enduring the tension created by the now and the not yet. Faith leads us to cry out the prayer of Habakkuk: “Lord, I have heard the report about You and I fear. O Lord, revive Your work in the midst of the years, In the midst of the years make it known; In wrath remember mercy (2:4)."

Let us not miss the treasure trove of opportunity available when we share questions with God and one another. Let us create safe places for our spouses, partners, friends, children, and others in our lives to ask questions. The best questions are life-giving and inspire intimate knowledge of self, God, one another, and the natural world. This knowledge, born of courage to question, leads us to a greater sense of confidence and belonging as we learn, grow, give, and love.

Additional Resources

Transformational Books on Suffering and Endurance:

• Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross

• The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith by Janet O. Hagberg and Robert A. Guelich

• When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harald Kueschner

• Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb

• When God Doesn’t Make Sense by James Dobson

• Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl

• The Problem of Pain by C.S. Lewis

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Cindi J. Martin, LCSW is a licensed Christian psychotherapist who works with women healing from trauma, loss, depression, and anxiety as well as couples recovering from the wounds of sexual addiction. She is also the founder and director of Wellspring Counseling Ministries, which provides resource and referral services with the goal of integrating a strong biblical faith with excellence in clinical practice. Cindi is working on a book and blogs about emotional care, intimacy in relationships, the Bible, and theology at cindijmartinlcsw.com.