Plant Where You Will Bloom...A Lesson from the Garden
- Cindi Martin
- Jul 17, 2023
- 2 min read
Have you ever wondered why you get along with some people but not others? Are you embarrassed to admit that you don’t enjoy spending time with everyone equally, even in your own family? It was Jesus who said that we are to love others, even our enemies. But how do we love those whom we genuinely dislike?
We can learn much from what gardeners have known for millennia: Companion Planting.
According to Tilly of the website Fennel Doesn’t Have Friends, “Companion planting involves placing plants that can benefit from one another adjacent to each other in the garden. It also involves keeping some plants far away from one another, as they can be a detriment to one another’s growth.” Distance does not exclude plants from the garden; it means acknowledging detrimental differences and respecting placement.
Fennel grows well in our garden but has a reputation for being a loner; it dislikes being close to a lot of other plants, especially bush beans, eggplant, and tomatoes. Basil loves a crowd and helps nearly every garden plant thrive. Can we refrain from making basil the good plant and fennel the bad plant because they aren’t the best companions for each other? Can we love and appreciate the unique value of both plants? Inherent differences and preferences are what make our garden a diverse and beautiful place.
What if we honor a similar reality in the human garden? We do get along better with some people more than others! What if we learn to better understand and accept the reasons that we should put some distance between ourselves and others? Insisting on being close to all can prevent some from growing and thriving. It is possible to love our enemies when we realize that we do not need to plant ourselves in the bed right next to them. You’ve heard it said, “Bloom where you are planted.” But this is also wisdom: “Plant where you will bloom.”
Cindi J. Martin, LCSW is a licensed Christian psychotherapist who works with women healing from trauma, loss, depression, and anxiety as well as couples recovering from the wounds of sexual addiction. She is also the founder and director of Wellspring Counseling Ministries, which provides resource and referral services with the goal of integrating a strong biblical faith with excellence in clinical practice. Cindi is working on a book and blogs about emotional care, intimacy in relationships, the Bible, and theology at cindijmartinlcsw.com.
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