Letting Go to Grow

In California, there are still a few yellow or brown leaves hanging on to the branches here and there. But the wintry winds have stripped most trees of any remnants of a multicolored coat of leaves. What is surprisingly hopeful behind this loss is the tiny bump of a bud that has been quietly growing at that exact placement of the leaf on the boney limb. It is the promise of spring on the eve of winter that pushes the colored leaf to risk a final wind sailing performance.  When we observe closely, we see that the new growth is nudging any lone leaf into courage for the final plunge; into a descent, sometimes violently blown, sometimes gently gliding before it lands upon the good earth. We see that the leaf needs to let go and let the bud urge forward growth. In other words, it must let go to grow.

Learning from Grief and Loss

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven…a time to weep, and a time to laugh…” (Ecclesiastes 3:1,4).

Each season of our lives seems to include some shade or color of letting go to grow. 

• As children, we let go of our caregiver’s hands to walk on our own.

• As adolescents, we let go of the expectations of our parents to forge our own identity.

• As adults, we let go of who we hoped others would be and accept them for who they are.

• As aging adults, we let go of boundless energy “to do” and value what it means “to be.”

As if loss is not difficult enough, we rarely perceive the promise of growth under grief that is nudging us to take a risky plunge into the unknown.  We do not imagine that our singular loss is wholly our gain.  The tree understands that the loss of leaves and the wintery cold are the necessary precursors to new buds that will burst into flower and leaf when the warmth of spring has come.  

In late Spring, the cycle of letting go to grow into Summer repeats itself.  Tree flowers lose their petals in late spring and expose tiny green nubs of fruit soaking in the sun that will mature them for a plump and colorful summer harvest. Time and time again, our Creator is comforting us with nature’s promise that letting go is followed by growth forward. Is there something in our lives that is nudging us to let go of something precious?  Are we holding on tight and resisting the inevitable free fall into the unknown?  

• Do we continue to rescue a child (or even a spouse) from poor choices rather than allow them to experience the related painful consequences?  

• Is it time to leave a family business to pursue a personal and new vocational path?

• Are we hiding who we are by our silence about important decisions in a friendship?

• Can we openly address the painful but real and changing needs of our aging parents?

May we call upon the wisdom of the “bone to bud” stage of trees to give us courage to trust God for His way of growing joy and peace in the midst of sorrow and anxiety.  May we look for the gift of new growth that He has prepared for us.  

“They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.” – Psalms 126:5-6 King James Version (KJV)